


Run Me To Ruin

by EffingEden



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Brainwashing, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Community: avengerkink, M/M, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:27:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1601570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EffingEden/pseuds/EffingEden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was like a ghost is murmuring words of an alien language in his ear. He wanted to listen, but he could not understand. It give him a shape of a word, and it sat on his tongue, and the word was a name not listed on the file and he did not understand where it came from or why. He killed it before he birthed it to the air, swallowing it back into the emptiness from where it came, and shut out the whispers. If it was not on the paper, it was not for him to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Run Me To Ruin

**Author's Note:**

> Written for an anon, for the prompt located here - http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/19023.html?thread=43613775#t43613775

All eyes were on him as he opened the folder. Tension that tasted like flat rubber and bile and sizzled just a touch too quiet to hear. He did not like it, nor the coarse surge of adrenaline that mingled sickly with the other hormones they pushed into his veins, but he did not show it. He **knew** in the deep wretched hollow of his being that in this room he must be relaxed and calm until he is either escorted elsewhere or until ` The Chair` took hold of him. He **knew** these people were not to be harmed, no matter what they do. No matter how bad it hurt, it could always ( _alwaysnever_ ) hurt more.1

He stared down at the file. At the face of black and white. The grainy quality did not diminish the brilliance of the smile that his mission wore. There was a metallic tang against his tongue as he stared longer. There was a chill that licked at him, just behind his sternum as he burns the shape of his target’s features into his memory. There was a pressure in his head that filled with swirling static and a cold so sharp he could bleed from it. It was like a ghost is murmuring words of an alien language in his ear. He wanted to listen, but he could not understand. It give him a shape of a word, and it sat on his tongue, and the word was a name2 not listed on the file and he did not understand where it came from or why. He killed it before he birthed it to the air, swallowing it back into the emptiness from where it came, and shut out the whispers. If it was not on the paper, it was not for him to know. 

He moves his gaze away from the image to read the intel, patterns of movement, known defences. The man across from his relaxed slightly, and another folder joined the first. “You have five days. Foul play must not be suspected. Collateral damage; minimum. Use the SWAT team if needed.” He was sure he had never heard those words before, but they echoed in his head, the shape and weight to them familiar. He looked over the other file with the same intense focus, absorbing all the scraps and details he could. A younger man with similar features. Different movement patterns. Different locations. Less threat but greater challenge3. He surrounded himself with people. His behaviour erratic and unpredictable, yet rarely in proximity to the first target.

He looked at the man across from him. Waited.

Blue eyes bore down on his, measured his reaction, as if he expected some flaw to present itself. A long moment passed between them before he got a nod. “Get going.”

 

* * *

1Pain was nothing but a tool. It made him better, improved and healed and refined so he could give his best in the field. Fearing what made him strong was a failing, but he does.

2H͚̭̹͉̝̻͐̂o̦̓́w͔̙̦̹̹̏ͥ̍̚͟a͈̼͈̭̗̺̣̋̇̓̎͜rd̻̤̤̜͋̎ͦ͘

3Challenging. Trivial. Easy. Hard. Less. More. The words meant nothing. He no gauge, not median or mean. No doubt in his success.


End file.
